The Account: this happened to me …

When we experience unwanted sexual attention, there has been an unwritten protocol that requires us to decipher what has happened, and translate it into ‘police-speak’ and legal jargon. No more to that. It’s time we speak in our own voices, saying what we want to say, using metaphors when the memories are too painful to articulate. Our take on what happened to us is enough, and it’s time we started speaking – in our own terms.

“The Account” is a site is for you to state, say, log, record, describe, question and most importantly be heard when you try to make sense of unwanted sexual experiences (read: ANY activity that you did not actively give any indication that you were willing to engage in).

“The Account” is where you can record your experiences. You may wish to tell the police. You may wish to seek ‘justice’ under the umbrella of the criminal justice process. But, you may just want to add your account to this bank of stories (accounts). An account holding all our accounts. Growing (hopefully with interest) and making impact.

“The Account This happened to me, Just Saying” is a place where you can do that. Here, you can record what happened to you. No one will judge you. No one will question your version or memory or feelings (we can’t even do that). But other people will have the opportunity to reflect and try to understand how your experience might have affected you. “The Account” is an opportunity for you to convey how that unwanted experience has affected you, how it came about, and it might help other women to feel less alone, less isolated, and to be part of a bigger unwanted ‘club’ that we didn’t ask to join.

You could start off by joining in the anonymous Unwanted Sexual Experience Poll below

And what happened afterwards (also anonymous) … 

You can write as much or as little as you want to … please feel free to be as candid, cross, carefree and crass as you like … all the ‘c’ words. Leave your reply below. You can use your real name, create a pseudonym or a nickname, but if you would like your comment to be completely anonymous, it will be.

And thank you.

A word after a word after a word is power.

Speaking of Justice

Speaking of Justice: A critical evaluation of processes that led women to speak about sexual victimisation and rape, where they directed them and how their expectations were met

There are several lenses through which research into the impact of sexual violence can focus – my PhD aims to examine how women have chosen to speak about their experiences. Reports of sexual violence to the police comprise about 10% of actual experiences of sexual offences and less than 10% of those recorded as a crime result in a criminal conviction. The ‘justice’ process appears to be failing many victims who access it, and according to data extracted from the Crime Survey of England and Wales (Ministry of Justice, Home Office & Office for National Statistics, (2013)), at least 90% of victims of sexual violence are not reporting to police – but many are disclosing elsewhere.

It has long been suggested that a criminal justice outcome was just one part of the process for victims of sexual victimisation (Kelly, 1988), and our continued obsession with attrition (which, itself is contested (Lea and Lanvers, 2003; Ministry of Justice, Home Office & Office for National Statistics, 2013)) and conviction rates are ‘arguably putting the criminal justice system at the centre, rather than the victim’ (Stern, 2010). Women want to be treated with respect and dignity throughout the ‘process’, to be listened-to, believed, kept informed – conceding that if their experience was understood and its effects acknowledged, they “can [even] cope with an acquittal” (Stern, 2010). Furthermore, Stern (2010) found that convictions of their alleged perpetrator did not ‘loom as large for many of them as … other matters of proper treatment’, which may deter women from speaking at all. There appears to be agreement in many circles that reform is necessary if women who complain of sexual offending are not to be unfairly and unnecessarily disadvantaged in the legal process (Thomas, 2008, cited in Jordan, 2011).

This PhD has two main aims:

  1. To contrast women’s experiences when they decided to disclose sexual victimisation – both within the Criminal Justice system and elsewhere. The thesis seeks to build upon effective alternative measures that women have used or would like to take advantage of, based on their needs and experiences, as well as their words.
  2. Based upon the findings of the project, the study aims to ‘re-vision’ what justice comprises for the multi-faceted victim of sexual assault and to envision a scenario in which all women have an opportunity to access a response that is suitable to her needs and wishes – equally managed and provided from a single point of entry.

Research Objectives

  1. To examine and analyse factors involved in what contributes to the relative ‘silence’ of victims of sexual violence
  2. To identify what victims are seeking when they put voice to their experiences of sexual victimisation
  3. To determine what actually happened if and when they spoke
  4. To develop a strategy of suitable ‘prospects’ for women who seek help, advice or ‘justice’ following sexual victimisation that is victim-focused and not solely determined by the ‘guilt’ or ‘innocence’ of the alleged perpetrator

What’s Just Saying?

I am interested in women’s stories. Particularly stories that recall events around what followed after telling someone about an unwanted sexual experience. We have a lot of names and descriptions for these experiences … I’d like to hear, in your language, your style … who you told, why you told them, and what happened subsequently. Most importantly, I’d like to know what you would have liked to have happened and whether it did.